BotB: Day 2 & Wrapup

by Spud

I’ll let Gday cover the ancillary anecdotes, and just cut to 11:00. Sophie (Gday’s GPS) tells us to make several illegal turns on the way to the Governor’s Inn, so it takes a little longer, and involves a few more loops, than expected. Gday and I led a convoy (followed by Aaron’s crew, followed by Cliff’s crew, followed by the Eponymous Posse), and once we arrived, I think just about everybody who attended the previous night’s festivities was present. We waited until around 11:40 to start, as the Rhode Island crew took a little longer to arrive than expected.

I spent the pre-tourney time talking to people I’d met the night before, trying in vain to get my laptop’s WiFi to connect (one bar might as well be no bars), and being molested by a large bearded Latino.

International House of Waffling

I waffled long and hard over what to play for the Golden BYOT event. My first instinct was to play Negative Zone, as the Golden build of that deck is a hoot and a half, and won the day for me at our own BYOT event. It tends to be a little inconsistent (if you don’t pick up the relatively limited number of draw effects, you can really screw your hand), but it’s insanely good when it hits (“I stun your 4 and 5 on your init, and then they both KO at the start of recovery”). I discussed modifications with Squire as he was considering running it for his own upcoming BYOT event, and he brought up another possibility for me to play: Arkham Insanity.

There were two advantages to playing Insanity. First of all, Pablo needed my Mobilizes for his deck, and playing Insanity meant I’d only need one of my four copies. Secondly, playing Insanity, I’m “covered” no matter how I do in the event; if I do well, I can cackle madly and say, “MWAHAHAHA! THIS IS WHY YOU MUST FEAR THE INSANITY!”. If I don’t do well, I can scoff and say, “Dude, it’s Insanity. You can’t expect that much out of it.”

I continued waffling between the two until Saturday morning (and, rather unhelpfully, I also added a third option to the mix, given how awesome SecSoc performed for me the night before), but ultimately I decided to give in to peer pressure and play what Squire and OnyxWeapon demanded.

“No Sane Chicks”

1-drops:

1x The Penguin – Gentleman of Crime

1x Catwoman Cat’O Nine Tails

1x Amadeus Arkham

1x Mad Hatter

2-drops:

1x KGBeast

1x Calendar Man

1x Charaxes – Moth Monster

1x The Penguin – Crime’s Early Bird

1x The Riddler – Brain Teaser

1x Tally Man

3-drops:

1x Blockbuster

1x The Penguin – Arms Merchant

1x The Penguin – Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot

1x The Joker – Out of his Mind

1x Great White

1x Charaxes – Drury Walker

1x Mr. Zsasz

4-drops:

1x Poison Ivy – Pamela Isley

1x Hush – Mystery Man

1x Hush – Silent and Deadly

1x Batzarro

1x The Joker – Headline Stealer

1x The Joker – Laughing Lunatic

5-drops:

1x Killer Croc – Waylon Jones

1x Matt Hagen <> Clayface – Mud Pack

1x Scarecrow – Fearmonger

1x Scarecrow – Fear and Loathing

1x Catwoman

6-drops:

1x Two-Face – Heads or Tails

1x Sondra Fuller <> Clayface

1x The Joker – Killer Smile

1x The Joker – Crazy for You

7-drops:

1x Two-Face – Split Personality

1x Basil Karlo <> Ultimate Clayface

10-drops:

1x Death – Second Force of the Universe

Consistency

1x Jack-In-The-Box

1x Ego Gem

1x Secret Origins

1x Usual Suspects

1x Mobilize

1x Beside Myself

1x Pick A Card

1x Certifiable

1x Prison Break

Pump

1x Stryker’s Island

1x SKREEEEEE!

1x Burn Baby Burn!

1x Savage Beatdown

1x Glass Jaw

1x Flying Kick

1x Nasty Surprise

Board Control

1x Money Talks

1x Kidnapping

1x Finishing Move

1x Death Trap

1x Smiles, Everyone!

Misc.

1x Frog of Thunder

1x No Man’s Land

1x Chilly Reception

1x Roshambo

1x Have a Blast

1x Siphon Energy

The deck is a very straightforward Pump/KO deck; the high number of “consistency cards” ensure that my draw can never be THAT bad, and I’ll almost always have SOMETHING to play. Granted, you sometimes need to play sub-par characters (I really wish there was a better seventh 3-drop Inmate than DOR Penguin, but sadly… there isn’t. ), but the fact that your opponent can’t predict your plays is a HUGE advantage.

Key cards in the deck are Siphon Energy (getting a second Mobilize, Roshambo, or Money Talks can be absolutely devastating), Death (searchable with Jack In The Box as it’s my only 10-cost), and Stryker’s Island (with the random plot twist contents, this is almost always a +3 or +4).

Sooo… let’s see how I did. I’m doing this all from memory two days later, so my apologies for forgotten details.

Round 1: Scott (shamilton777) playing Fatal Five

FYI: Scott is awesome.

Scott hits a decent early curve of Emerald Eye on 2, boosted Emerald Empress for a second Eye on 3, and Mano on 4. I hit a turn 1 Beside Myself (spoiler: this is the only time I hit it all day), and flipped it up on turn 1 with Mad Hatter on the board. Turn 2 brought me KGBeast, followed by 1-drop Catwoman on 3, and Poison Ivy on 4. On turn 4, he swings into Ivy with Emerald Empress and an I Still Hate Magic (ensuring that Empress can’t be recovered this turn), and then makes “safe” attacks down into my other peeps. Neither of us loses anything, though Empress enters turn 5 stunned.

Turn 5, I hit Catwoman (nuking the 1-drop), to his Tharok and Daxamites. I know he’s going to try to kill me next turn, so I pump up into Mano with Ivy, send Catwoman into a reinforced Tharok, and take down the Daxamites with KGBeast. I know how stupid-good multiple Fatal Five dudes can be on turn 6, so I bust out the board control, putting Mano on top of his deck with Money Talks, and playing Death to take down Tharok. Grumbling, he recovers the Empress and goes to turn 6.

On 6, he has an Eye and the Empress, and adds a boosted Validus to the mix, which will double my stuns. He has a fairly hefty endurance lead up to this point, but I have much better characters. I play The Joker – Joker’s Wild as my 6, and form with Joker protecting KGBeast, who’s beside Ivy in the back. Scott plays his -DEF pumps, putting Ivy at 0DEF, then sends Emerald Eye in for the first swing. I pump her up to 3DEF with Joker (pitching a Flying Kick at the same time… d’oh!), he powers up, and I pump to 4DEF. He… has nothing else, having used his only other pump to stun Ivy on 4. Emerald Eye goes down, and can’t be recovered.

Scott then sends Empress in… forgetting that Joker’s pumps are for the turn. I pitch one more card to get to 5DEF, and Empress goes down, also unrecoverable. Sighing, Scott goes into her with Validus; I pitch my remaining hand to block some break and ensure the stunback, and it’s a dual (with me taking an additional 2 for Busted Knee). On my return swings, Joker and Catwoman don’t quite finish him off, but seeing as he can’t recover a single character, he extends his hand.

(Spud is at 1-0)

Round 2: Vinny playing Marvel Defenders

Vinny is a Yu-Gi-Oh player from Cliff’s crew who moonlights in VS, so I hope I’m not being a dick saying he’s not quite a flawless VS player. Still though, he’s a very nice guy; I played his hastily assembled X-Men/Crime Lords deck the night before, and it was quite a fun game.

That said, our game went pretty badly for him. Turn 1, he whiffed, while I hit Penguin, who made us both draw. Turn 2, I hit 2-drop Riddler, and he again whiffed. Direct for 3, and we both draw. Turn 3, he… once again whiffs. Ouch. I have no 3, so I Moby, selecting Charaxes as my recruit; he can’t do any damage this turn, but with the initiative next turn I can munch his one and only character with a team attack. On 4, I bring out The Joker – Headline Stealer, and do a team attack to eat his first recruit, Samantha Parrington.

On 5, he hits the Hulk to my Catwoman. Somewhat perplexingly, he elects not to swing into me, instead exhausting Hulk to Crimson Bands to exhaust-and-can’t-ready my Joker. I activate Riddler to lock him out of One Man Rampage in case that was his plan (apparently it wasn’t), and then I team into Hulk to eat him. On 6, I bring out Sondra Fuller to his Surfer– the first thing he has all game that will actually cause me to do some thinking. After deciding who I want to lose, I team Charaxes and Catwoman into Surfer, bouncing the kitty and KOing the Surfer thanks to No Man’s Land. I pile my remaining stuff into his face, but he’s still alive and we go to 7.

On 7 he gets Hulk, while I get Basil Karlo and a free random lowbie. He swings his 7 into my Sondra; I reinforce, and he responds with BlindSided and two pumps (I want to say Beatdowns..?) for a fairly hefty swing. Still though, I’m alive at around 10, and after I team to take down his 7, I pile everybody else in for the kill.

(Spud is at 2-0)

Round 3: Ryan (barakus) playing X-Men Recovery Shenanigans

I’m a little fuzzy on some of the exact details on this one, especially the early game, so this is going to be more of a “general impression” of the game than an actual literal report. We both hit most of our curves for the first three turns; he had Sage on 3 to my Penguin – Arms Dealer, but my plots weren’t fantastic anyway, so there wasn’t much I wanted to play. On 4, he hit Havok, and I had Joker- Headline Stealer. I formed with Joker in the back row; he put Havok through Penguin, and then stunned Havok during recovery to get my 4. I tried a KO effect, but he had Children of the Atom to dodge it.

5 was my init, and I hit an earlier-discarded Matt Hagen. He had search cards, but couldn’t play them thanks to The Joker, so he completely whiffed on 5. Whoo! I sent some guys into his guys, and when the combat smoke cleared, he was wiped and I’d taken nothing. He flipped a Siege Perilous on 4 that now had two counters, so I played Have A Blast on it before it could get to 3. Despite that, he planned to do the Havok Shuffle during recovery to stun my 4 and 5, but I had enough no-exhaust KO effects to chain around his recoveries and PAs to ensure he never got to recover, and he went into 6 with only Sage.

I honestly can’t remember what either of us played on 6; all I know is that I had no cards afterward and he was dead. We checked to see what turn 7 would’ve been– I had Basil from my KO’d pile, and he was going to topdeck 7-drop Wolverine, so I’m glad it ended when it did.

(Spud is at 3-0)

Round 4: Phou playing Curve Sentinels

Phou was also 3-0 going into this round, and was playing a notoriously solid deck, so I was feeling pretty apprehensive when I sat down. That said, I had a pretty awesome opening hand. Turn 1, I put down Mad Hatter with an Ego Gem and started drawing cards. Turn 2, he brought out Hounds, but I had a big-butt Calendar Man. I drew two, and he killed the Hatter.

Turn 3, I hit Charaxes. I flipped No Man’s Land last turn, so he knows there’s no point playing his 3-drop Sentinel, and opts instead for Bolivar into another Hounds. Charaxes predictably eats Bolivar, I draw two more cards, and he teams his Hounds into Calendar Man.

On 4, he hits Sentinel Mk.V, but I’m ready for it– I Moby for Batzarro, who he’ll need to pump to stun, and form in a block (sacrificing Calendar Man’s draw for a turn). He sends the Mk.V flying into Charaxes, and then pumps a Hound into Batzarro with two Beatdowns (ouch). His last attack is a Hound through Calendar Man with a pump, so I end the turn by losing Cal and Charaxes while he keeps his board.

I know he’ll hit Nimrod this turn, but I don’t care– I kept my opening hand entirely because it contained Scarecrow – Fearmonger. AKA Scarecrow – Eater of Any Counters. He plays him anyway, and at the start of Combat Scarecrow turns the Repair counter into a stat boost for himself. For my first attack, I send Scarecrow into Nimrod for a one-sider; for my second, Batzarro into Mk.V for another. I pass and he passes… and then I Money Talks his Nimrod on top of his deck. WHOO!

Turn 6, he has the predictable Bastion, but again I’m not that scared because he only has three cards in his hand and there’s only one character in his KO’d pile. I play Siphon Energy to replay Moby, and bring out Two-Face – Heads Or Tails to exhaust his 4-drop and give him only one attack. He uses it to plough through the Two-Face with a pump, and I pass my remaining attacks.

On 7, I hit the requisite Basil Karlo from the KO’d pile (I actually searched out Two-Face and went to recruit him, but Phou sportingly pointed out that doing that would nuke my 6, and let me go back), getting a freebie Poison Ivy along with him. Phou’s 7 was Cassandra Nova, who he formed in front of Bastion.

I’m going to skip the play-by-play here and simply tell you how it ended: I didn’t use my brain. I had way more guys than him, and plenty enough to make safe attacks into his guys and still have a 7-drop to swing direct for game. But I wasn’t paying much attention (the topic of lunch had come up, and I was more interested in that than in my game), and I declared a greedy attack of Two-Face and Poison Ivy into his Cassandra Nova. I was being way too cheap with my attackers, and he bricked me with two Cover Fires. After that, I lost too much board and he got an attack-back with Bastion, and I lost by around 10 life.

I have nobody to blame for that result but myself– the deck performed admirably and gave me everything I needed to win (Charaxes on 3 to force an underdrop, Batzarro on 4 to force pumps, Scarecrow on 5 to neuter Nimrod, and Two-Face on 6 to cut out half his attacks), but I didn’t play with my brain, so I threw it away.

I have mixed feelings about this game… I’m mad at myself for making such a stupid play, but on the other hand, I can consider it a “moral victory” for the deck itself, as piloted by someone less dumb than myself, it clearly demonstrated that it could’ve pulled this off. The tools were all there, but I wasn’t paying enough attention to put them together.

(Spud is at 3-1)

Round 5: Pablo (the Eponymous Pablo) playing Defenders Hulk Legend

I know my deck has a really solid game against Defenders (nuking the Backup characters = game), so I assumed that Pablo’s would be the same. It turned out to be a bit more complicated than that. I once again don’t remember the exact early-game details of this one, but the end’s pretty accurate.

We both miss 1. He gets Beast on turn 1, and I get [something]. Turn 3 he has Tania Belova, and I Moby for Charaxes. He makes a smart attack to stun Charaxes, and we go to 4. He hits Samantha Parrington after I drop Headline Stealer, and forms her behind Beast. He smartly doesn’t Backup Tania or Sam, only giving Tania Beast’s power. I send Charaxes into the exhausted Beast, but he goes Evades him to avoid the stun. Char readies; I now have Charaxes AND a Smiles, Everyone!, but only a single way to exhaust people (a No Man’s Land in my row), so I can’t get the KO on both of them, and opt to nuke the 4-drop. I tap her town, and then send in my 3 and 4 to take her off the board. Tania is ready in the back row, sitting at -1/6 mathematically (the -2ATK remains all turn for calculation purposes), so Pablo drops a Mega Blast on her to send her through my 2-drop at 3ATK, making me lose it (whatever it was).

On 5, he hits the extremely annoying Hulk and passes. I have Catwoman, and recruit her visible to absorb some damage. Tania taps on Hulk, and then he goes through Charaxes, forcing me to reinforce. My back row is then open, so he plays a Flying Kick on Hulk, then Righteous Anger to ready (annoyingly, he has EXACTLY four cards in hand, so it’s playable despite Joker’s power), and dives through my 4 for a ton of break. On my attack-back, I send Catwoman through Tania with Smiles, Everyone! after determining that Hulk is currently immune to ALL of my KO effects, since they all require either a) a targeted exhaust, or b) a targeted KO. It’s a little annoying.

On 6, I hit Sondra Fuller and Pablo gets Quasar. I try to Frog the Hulk during build to get rid of his counters, but Pablo has another Righteous Anger to become untargetable, which once again means he can’t be taken off the board at all this turn. Frustrated, I do team attacks into his 5 and 6; he loses Quasar, I lose Joker.

Turn 7 is predictably brief. He has 7-drop Hulk, and I have Two-Face. He uses Great Arena during build to exhaust my 7, and then discards to ready him and smack the 6-drop I parked in front of him, backed up by two Hulk Smashes and who-knows-what-else. I have guys to swing back with, but nowhere enough pump to close the gap.

I didn’t feel cheated at all by this loss; I didn’t make any hugely bad plays and my deck gave me pretty good cards, but ultimately Pablo was prepared with exactly the right counter-cards to shut down my deck’s efforts. Well-played, Legless.

(Spud is at 3-2)

Round 6: Kevin playing Moloids

Game 6, as expressed through Kevin’s side of the board:

Turn 1: Klaw.

Turn 2: Moloid and Moloid.

Turn 3: Doom. Doom gets KO’d.

Turn 4: Divinity. KO two Moloids to flip Doomed Earth. Divinity then gets put on top of the deck.

Turn 5: Moloid and Reed Richards, getting two Moloids. Moloid declares into a 3DEF 2-drop, Doomed Earth gets Have A Blasted mid-attack for a brick.

Turn 6: Doom and some Moloids. Reinforce lots of attacks, but ultimately take 15 break from an angry 6-drop. Doom gets KO’d. Siphon Energy. Reed gets KO’d. Both players are on 1.

Turn 7: Nothing. Scoop.

(Spud is at 4-2)

Round 7: Glenn playing Avengers Reservist

I won’t bother with a play-by-play: I had maybe a 10% chance of winning this, and only that much if I pulled six KO effects like in the last match. The only one I got all game was one I had to search, so after I nuked his 3-drop Panther, he never lost another character. It ends on turn 6 when he replaces into a bazillion pumps and murders my face.

(Spud is at 4-3)

And that, as they say, was that.

The initial plan was to cut to Top 8 at this point, but it was past 6:00 and we were running out of time for SuperCrossover, so we voted to just cut there and award prizes. So in the end, I went 4-3, and one of my losses was winnable if I wasn’t so dense, so it was a “5-2 capable deck”. Not too freaking bad for Insanity.

I ended up in the top 8 (7th overall) thanks to my good tiebreakers (all three of my losses were to T8ers), and took home a BotB playmat as my prize. The participation prize everyone got consisted of splitting up a ginormous stack of donated cards– prize cards, foreign-language rares, and Modern rares and foils. I got some hot stuff in my prize stack– a couple random DCX and MUL cards I needed (Atomic Axe, Crossing Over, etc), a Spanish MOR Invisible Woman, and a freaking MUN Avengers Wolverine!

At this stage, it was time to tally the scores and determine which country won– we were simply averaging wins. I sat there with Tauron and crunched the numbers, and in the end, the result was… a tie! Honestly, that was the best possible way to end the main event– nobody felt gypped (my apologies to Gypsies for the hateful slur, but the English language lacks a proper alternate term. Stupid Brits.), every was happy, and it just means we HAVE to organize a followup event to properly determine the winner.

Crossed Over, Superlatively

At this point we lost some players (Carrie had to go feed the baby, and the Rhode Island players had to go home), so we had 17 players for this round. Orange_Soda_Man had acquired seven different boxes for the event (MOR, DOR, MSM, DSM, MMK, MAV, and DLS), and I had a box of MUN with me to bring it up to 8. We split the boxes up into 17 piles of 8 packs; everybody took a stack, cracked it, and built a 40-card deck (with Dual Loyalty dudes disallowed… not a very stringent requirement when you have a 112-card pool to pick from).

I can only describe the pack-opening process as “barely-contained glee and revelry”. We were opening awful cards that suddenly because insanely good in Crossover. People celebrated when they opened suddenly-spectacular garbage like Underworld Star, Dragon Man, and Kaine. The player across from me got both Collect Them All and Wild Ride; Pablo picked up Roy Harper and Teen Titans Go (and apparently got the combo off in game 3!). Alex on my left pulled Dr. Tzin-Tzin… and played him.

I don’t really remember much about my games, as they were just a constant onslaught of random cards flying all over the place. But here were the highlights:

• Dragon Man = 12ATK all the time while attacking. Kaine = always KOs defenders he stuns.
• We all started to notice very quickly the EXTREME lack of both flight and range on older cards. In game one, I was holding six characters in hand, and had three on the board, as well as another two in my KO’d pile. NOT A SINGLE ONE HAD FLIGHT OR RANGE.
• My deck unintentionally had a discard theme: Chain Lightning, Asteroid JS-1967, Museum Heist, 5-drop Xavier, and… something. Can’t remember the last one. I busted most of them out in my game against Alex, but it didn’t really help.
• Speaking of my game with Alex… Boss_Man took over eleven hours to construct his SCO deck (that is SOLID FACT, and I challenge anyone to produce proof to the contrary!), so we swapped decks and played again. I beat him badly with his own deck… confirming that, yes, it was much better than my deck.
• Game 3 against Scott Hamilton was… weird. I butchered him… absolutely tore his board to shreds, and used KO effects to make it stick. I hit a 7, he hit a smattering of lowbies. We went to 8, I dropped a second 7-drop, he dropped… Loki. I have one 3-point pump, and that’s it. 19-point team attack into the 2-drop in front of him… no randomize. “Wait, that’s optional?” “Hell yeah.” Well, crap. 7-drop Hank Pym into an unreinforceable 3-drop… redirect into… Loki. “CRAP.” 6-drop into that 3-drop… redirect into… reinforced 2-drop. “CRAP.” Other 7-drop into that STUPID 3-DROP… redirect into… Loki.

“Scott.”

“Yes?”

“That… was the classiest play… I’ve seen all goddamn weekend.”

And then we went home.

Aftermath

…to the hotel. The night staff left the breakfast room open for us again, so we went in to decompose before ending the event. For the first while, we just sat and talked. Gday bored everybody with an explanation of how cricket works, while I trolled around looking for trade binders I hadn’t raided yet (I didn’t find any). After a bit, people busted out decks and started playing some final games to close out the weekend. Alex asked if anybody wanted to test against his Spider-Friends/Illuminati deck, and I jumped up and said yes.

What ensued can only be described as:

The Most Peaceful and Relaxed Game of the Weekend

Turn 1: I have 1-drop Professor X from MUN. He has nothing.

Turn 2: I have 2-drop Black Bolt. I don’t replace a resource. He has Aunt May for 4-drop Sensational Spidey. I dive in.

Turn 3: He has 1-drop Black Bolt hidden. I have 2-drop Dr. Strange (hitting Character (a 1-drop Prof), hitting Plot Twist (Essence of Zom), and… hitting Location (Birthing Chamber), despite there only being three locations in the entire deck), and I Clash for a second Professor X. I flip Clandestine during recovery.

Turn 4: I play 3-drop Subby, exhausting him in response to Clandestine to put Clash back on the deck. I don’t think I filled my last point. He had Spidey; he exhausts my remaining dudes, and it’s off to turn 5.

Turn 5: He has some Illuminati guys. I have some 3-drop Iron Man and 2-drop Reed, completing my set. He attacks one of my Profs, but I power up to shut the attack down. Exhaust exhaust exhaust, turn 6.

Turn 6: Time to let the cat out of the cage. After he draws and ESUs, I recruit 4-drop Strange and Gauntlet his hand. I still have two ready guys in case he tries to PA… but he uses Spidey beforehand to tap one down, leaving me without a negate when he PAs. He recruits some more Illuminati dudes.

Turn 7: I Gauntlet his hand again, but through a series of exhausts on his side for draw and effects, enough of my guys are tapped down again to stop the PA from being negated. He recruits a 3-drop Black Bolt to nuke the Gauntlet, but after the earlier drama he doesn’t have a spare guy to tap along with him to get a replacement. I have my 8 in hand, but not my 7, so I Clash again to bring out some miscellaneous junk… I think a 5-drop Iron Man? I’m not sure. I’ve got ten or so guys by now. The turn is as uneventful as usual.

Turn 8: He starts the turn by Black Bolting my Gauntlet before the draw. I respond by Gauntleting his hand; he exhausts two guys to flip Elektra Situation and shut down Dr. Strange’s negation power, then plays PA. I play my own Black Bolt’s power to replace Elektra, and finally exhaust my last two ready guys to negate the PA. His hand hits the dirt, including his 8- and 9-drop and a ton of plot twists. I then put my Murder Machine on the field: Starfire, X’Hal’s fury. He doesn’t have much of a play anymore, putting some other dudes on the field, but he lacks the ability to take Starfire down or Elektra her, so his whole board stuns at the start of recovery.

Turn 9: He doesn’t have anything, and scoops.

That was a surprisingly enjoyable game to play… there were no attacks, it was just a very peaceful, reserved war of “My effect.” “Ok, negate your effect.” “Ok, exhaust your guys so you can’t negate again, then my effect.” “Ok, it goes through.” See, the whole “massive board lockdown” thing really sucks when you’re trying to kill it with fighters, but when BOTH sides are happy to not attack, it’s surprisingly nice to play.

Kudos to OSM for giving me a relaxing game before bed.

So, yeah. It was 1am at that point, so I packed up my crap, said goodbye to the assembled throng, and gave Cliff an extended hug (which mostly consisted of me using him as a pillow for a few minutes because I was so exhausted) while he finished a game against Pablo. Helpful hint to all: Cliff is an awesome pillow.

I’d like to thank the Academy

So, yeah. That was my weekend. Gday will be discussing our travel adventures in his posts, so I’ll leave you today with the requisite kudos list.

Orange Soda Man: I don’t feel that people have adequately heaped the necessary amount of embarassing praise upon OSM for his efforts this weekend. He fronted a ton of cash to get the weekend going, and ultimately did not get it entirely returned– but he didn’t get bitter about that. He just sat back and enjoyed the weekend, and was a totally cool guy who I regret that I forgot to lick.

Many, many thanks, OSM. Even if you do still hate freedom.

TauronNox: For sitting out the event (as a judge) without complaint. I definitely could not have pulled that off– I would’ve squirmed and whined until I figured out a way to cram myself into the play area. Tauron, on the other hand, sat cheerfully at the judge’s table, setting up matches and entering results, and just generally keeping the day flowing.

That said: Cut yer hair, hippie!

OnyxWeapon: For acquiescing to my demands and playing Ultimates. Yes, yes… everybody told you to play them. But we both know it was my suggestion that finally set you on your path.

Steph: For keeping Gday out of my hair all weekend. I cannot stress enough how appreciative I am for that.

CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF: For molesting me, over and over and over again. Meeting Cliff was one of the main reasons I came to BotB, but to be honest, in kind of a weird way I regret meeting him, because now he’s not a magical radio pixie anymore. I needed the illusion, man! I needed to believe that you existed solely to entertain! But no, you had to ruin my dreams by proving that you do, in fact, exist to also play cards and haunt the nightmares of children. For shame, Cliff. For shame.

Ah well… I’ve still got one magic radio pixie left.

*creepily strokes a torn photo of Squire*

Big_Boss_Man: For being amusingly exhausted all weekend. Seeing you woozily stare into space all weekend was very amusing.

Scott Hamilton: Ok, honestly, how are you so boring online? I’ve “seen” you on the Realms for years, but never “noticed” you once. You’re like the bizarro version of me– utterly boring online, complete spastic in person.

Also: LOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

(*shakes fist at the heavens*)

Some Guy: For trading me the Outsiders rares I needed. I honestly have no idea who this was; it was Friday night and I didn’t know anybody yet. But whoever you are: thanks.

Baby Emma: For giving me something to do between rounds. Remember: we roll the die in front of ourself, we do not throw it across the room. Uncle Spud has to save his knees!

Pablo and Carrie: For bringing the entertainment.

Gday: For snoring for over two hours on the night before I needed to drive for ten. That was a lot of fun.

Really.

And finally…

Sophie: For not being able to tell the difference between two very close, yet ENTIRELY DIFFERENTLY-FACING ROADS on the map. Also, for sending us to a post office that isn’t a post office. Also, for deciding that the dashboard power socket doesn’t meet your standards, half a mile before we’re supposed to make three turns. Also, for sending us to a restaurant that doesn’t exist. And telling us to turn left through a traffic median. And take an exit that’s closed. And falling off the window repeatedly.

Grrr. Stupid Sophie.

To everybody else: If I didn’t mention you, it’s because I hate you and could barely contain myself from stabbing you every time I looked at your ugly face all weekend.

Just be glad I’m a coward.

Soooooooomewheeeeeeeeeeeeere oooooooooveeeeerrrr the raaaaaaaiiiiinbooooooow…

And that’s my tourney report. Overall the weekend was a blast, and I can’t wait for the next one. Everybody I met was awesome, and everything I experienced during the weekend was awesome.

Except the pizza.

Oh my god, that pizza. I can’t lie anymore. I hated that pizza so much. I hated the crust (too hard), I hated the sauce (tasted like pickles), and I hated the top (coated in an inch of grease).

The only compliment I can give it was that, whew, it did not go down without a fight later that evening.

Yes, that means what you think it means.

Wait for it… wait for it…

…there. You’re welcome.

-Spud