SoL Rnd 2: Family of One vs HKKO

Apparently SOME people just can’t enough of that sweet, sweet Summer Of Love action, so once more I’m sitting here at 11pm writing a match report instead of playing Spore, painting figures, or sorting the cards that are splayed across the table in the basement. Oh, the things I do for you people…

Tonight we see two of my favourite teams playing against two of Spud’s favourite teams… even if the pairings are screwy. I love Fantastic Four decks, I love Kree resource control. Spud loves X-Statix (with tongue), and he has a strong affection for the Hellfire Club as well… so we both wanted both decks to win….

… but that wouldn’t be any fun now, would it???

Spud picked up Family of One, while I held HKKO in my mitts. Keeping with tradition, I lose the initiative roll, and Spud opts for Odds. Both players keep their starting hands, and now the fun can begin…

Turn One:

Okay, so the fun really can’t start just yet. I lied, okay? I had good intentions, I assure you, but when there’s no 1-drops to be had, this is just a quiet turn. Stop judging me!!!

Family: 50
HKKO: 50

Turn Two:

Roulette spins out, looking a little hippy in those pink tights, while Luke Cage forms up across the way… also looking a little hippy in pink tights. Musta gotten confused with Jessica’s wardrobe this morning. Sensing potential blood in the water, Luke yells “I’ma gonna draw an extra card today!”, which made no sense as a battlecry.

Roulette completely failed to burn Luke as he stood there flexing, so she charged him instead… and surprised him by powering up, for the stun. “No card for YOU this sweet Christmas!”, she quipped… quite poorly, I must say.

Family: 47
HKKO: 50

Turn Three:

The Thing proves  that he realy is the Idol o’ Millions, whule Luke is determined to draw an extra card. In response, Roulette dials a wrong number, and her only backup is a Kree Commando, who can’t stop starting at her pink-spandex-clad booty. I mean seriously, who designed the Hellion costumes?? The staring does rile Roullette up a little though, she’s clearly being targetted by the creepy Commando.

Roulette once again misses a burn opportunity, so is worried for a second when Luke charges her, but she’s feeling empowered – Luke collapses in a heap at her feet.

Thing can’t believe it, and goes for her himself, and the two collide just like you’d imagine a rocky humanoid and a pink mutant would collide. Dual stun. The Kree Commando steps over their reeling forms and kicks Spud in the face.

Family: 40
HKKO: 45

Turn Four:

Once again a little behind the times, Dylon Cir jogs in, while Mr Fantastic answers his pager and opens his PDA to start searching for cards.

Roulette… you guessed it, misses another shot at burning… so Dylon kicks Thing instead, and Roulette drains his essence while Reed tries sifting through his email to find something useful in between offers to improve his manhood and to help exiled Bharanian royalty.

Family: 36
HKKO: 45

Turn Five:

Me Fantastic finally finds an email he’s liking, so he sends up a Signal Flare for Thing to come back to hit things Heavilly. Firestar has been out in the cosmos and declares herself a hero on two worlds.

Roulette… yup, misses the burn. Thing charges at Firestar, who gives him the evil eye and then blows up hin his face. A short turn, but a dramatic one.

Family: 26
HKKO: 40

Turn Six:

Selene is pressed into service, while Reed comes the conclusion that they need some sort of Zeitgeist. All this is too much for Roulette, who gets distracted for a second and… yes… YES! She actually manages to burn for 2!!!!

Selene decides she wants to taste Reed’s electrolytes, but he feels a kind of teamish bond with Zeitgeist, and goes off to X-Statix HQ to research this wierd feeling.

Thwarted, Selene instead sinks her teeth into Thing. The Commandos try to bury Thing in a most improper manner, but Thing’s apparently been declared Mutant of the Year by GQ magazine. Roulette, quite offended, responds with an Evil Eye, but it turns out Thing’s won the Mutant of the Year award from Women’s Weekly as well.

Zeitgeist rounds it out by trying to put Roulette in her place with a hefty backhand (that brute!), but Dylon’s there to support her.

Family: 25
HKKO: 37

Turn Seven:

Battering Ram enlists, while Mar-Vell proves he really isn’t a Skrull… while also not really being dead yet. Selene pulls out her junior chemistry set and dumps iron filings on Battering Ram, before exerting Magnetic Force. Disgruntled, Battering Ram returns to the HQ.

Can't hold his booze

Zeitgeist vomits acid all over Selene, who screams “Not the face! Not the face”. Fully aware of the X-Statix rep for being bastards when they’re all alone, Mar-Vell and the Commando charge the vomitous mutant just as he leaves the X-Statix Cafe… where he had an energy drink, so is feeling empowered. Mar-Vell flies away for a moment to catch his breath.

Dylon just kicks Spud to the face. He’s uncomplicated like that.

Family: 18
HKKO: 24

Turn Eight:

Mar-Vell returns, in what is turning out to be one of the longest games of the Summer. Reed wanders past, still sorting through his emails.

Mar-Vell tries to trip Reed up, but Reed stumbles into an interdimensional portal that, oddly enough, dumps him in the pool at X-Statix HQ. Selene and Dylon scowl menacingly at Zeitgeist, forcing him to cower…

… until the PR crew spin-doctors him back into place. Then Mar-Vell and the Commandos also start spreading libellous rumours….

… until the PR crew start spin-doctoring again. Zeitgeist, finding out that Mar-Vell is the one who wrote his phone number on the wall in the public restroom, charges out of the Cafe with intent to Clobber… Mar-Vell takes his hit, and once more flies off to a short distance to catch his breath.

Family: 10
HKKO: 15

Turn Nine:

The Silver Surfer responds to a Signal Flare, while Mar-Vell returns with Roulette, to give her one last chance… but she completely fails to burn yet again. Selene does give Spud the Evil Eye though.

Surfer hangs ten all up in Mar-Vell’s grille, before returning to the HQ, when Zeitgeist spanks Roulette for looking better in spandex than he does. Jealousy’s a curse, man.

Family: 13
HKKO: -5

Family of One advances to Round Three.