Family Feud: Lovers Quarrel

Despite Spud’s urgings, I’ve opted NOT to refer to this particular match as “Domestic Violence”. When a devoted couple such as Reed and Sue come to blows, it’s certainly not something to be so lightly mocked…

… but then again, the way Marvel handled the whole family relationship during Civil War does kinda leave room for som significant mockery

Regardless, we’re here for another round of Family Feud. So far, Sue and Ben have each racked up a win, while Reed and Johnny are still looking to get their names up on the board. Is this Reed’s chance? On with the show!

Susan wins initiative, and opts to take Odds.

Turn One:

Sue recruits her one-drop self, Walking On Air (WOA)

Reed recruits H.E.R.B.IE

WoA goes through H.E.R.B.I.E in a rather unceremonious fashion, with no stunback thanks to her healthy caboose.

Sue: 50 Reed: 49

Turn Two:

Reed gets an early start on the combo, flipping Antarctic Research Base (ARB) and New Baxter Building (NBB). Recruiting a Pogo Plane onto H.E.R.B.I.E., he draws for ARB, uses NBB, discards for a re-use of NBB and passes.

Sue, in response, recruits She-Thing

H.E.R.B.I.E. has no attacks, combat passes to Sue.

Sue sends She-Thing into H.E.R.B.I.E., who responds by popping the Pogo Plane to dig out the third portion of the location triumvirate, Pier 4, and then takes the stun

To rub salt into the wound, WOA kicks Reed in the face for an extra 1.

Sue: 50; Reed: 45

Turn Three:

Missing her She-Hulk, Sue underdrops with the drawtastic Luke Cage.

Reed similarly underdrops for Mr Fantastic: Reed Richards (RR), and begins digging. Activating RR to look for equipment, Reed finds a fantasticar. Recruiting a Personal Force Field (PFF) onto H.E.R.B.I.E., he then draws for ARB and NBB, re-readies the NBB and draws again.

Sue discards for Luke’s effect prior to combat.

Luke and WOA barrel into RR. Reed activates H.E.R.B.I.E. to move the PFF to RR, providing reinforcement and +3 DEF. WOA powers up twice, and manages to get the stun, safely avoiding a stunback and drawing for Luke.

She-thing goes through H.E.R.B.I.E. to clean up.

Sue: 50; Reed: 40

Turn Four:

Reed activates RR, gets himself a pogo plane, and recruits Franklin Richards: Trapped In Time (TIT) (yes, yes, get your snickering out of the way now, okay?).

Sue recruits her 4-drop Invisible Woman: Sue Storm (SS), adding an Unstable Molecules for a little bonus DEF. Playing invisibility to hide her entire board, she discards for Luke.

Reed swings with Franklin TIT to the face for 8.

Sue declares Luke and She-Thing into RR; PFF vanishes in a puff of illogic, RR goes down, and once again there is no stunback.

SS can’t take out Franklin TIT, so Sue passes.

Sue: 42; Reed: 38

Turn Five:

Sue opens by recruiting her fishy paramour, the Sub-Mariner, and discards a 3-drop She-Hulk to get a pump for SS.

Reed activates RR to get equipment, finds another PFF. Recruiting Mr Fantastic: Stretch, he gets the engine online. It starts with a Pogo Plane, drawings for ARB. Using the Pogo he filters an unneeded location out of the deck, and then draws for NBB, discards and redraws for NBB. Playing Eureka, since he has it, he gets another Pogo. Recruits, draws, and uses the Pogo. Next he recruits a PFF and Fantasticar (bathtub) onto Franklin TIT, a Framistat and Future technology onto Stretch, and draws for all four thanks to ARB.

Stretch now 14/12 on def, Franklin is 10/13. None too shabby.

Namor and She-Thing team into Reed at combined 12 ATK. RR activates to burn for 3 with Future Tech before the equipment vanishes. Powering up to 8/11, RR stuns Namor back and both players take 5.

Sue is feeling aggressive and goes all in, sending Sue and Luke into the now 9/12 Franklin. Packing a Clobbering Time on SS, Franklin TIT is stunned but not before stunning Luke back.

Reed recovers Reed, Sue recovers Namor.

Sue: 32; Reed: 29

Turn Six:

Reed recruits Dr Strange: Ally of the Four. Slapping a Future Techbology on both Stretch and Strange, Reed draws for ARB and NBB, and then burns Sue for 6. Playing Eureka, hey look! Another Pogo. Recruits the Pogo, Reed draws for ARB, and uses Pogo, then repeats the whole process with a second Pogo. Next, it’s an Eye of Agamotto for Strange, and a new bathtub for Reed. Drawing for both, it’s now official – there are no locations duplicate locations left in the deck to clog up draws. The Pogo Planes have done their job.

Sue, much less complicated, flares for 6-drop Shulkie and hides Namor with Invisibility.

Reed sends 16/14 Strange into Shulkie, but is foiled by the game’s first appearance of a Force Field Projection. Reed tries with again with Stretch, tossing two powerups to get to 13/13; Sue powers up Shulkie with the 3/drop, and once again Stretch stuns. Not good to the stretchy dude.

Shulkie and She-Thing barrel into Strange at high velocity, nuking his equipment. An easy stun, no responsive pumps, She-Thing wears the stunback.

Namor swings for the fences, since he has nothing better to do – Sue’s exhausted, after all.

Sue: 24; Reed: 9

Turn Seven:

Sue recruits Franklin Richards: Child of the Cosmos (COC. I kid you not, someone at UDE hates this guy).

Reed recruits Hulk: The Fantastic Hulk, discarding for 4 +1/+1’s. A free Eye of Agamotto to Dr Strange provides more draw from ARB and NBB. Exhausting Hulk for a free Framistat, it’s another ARB draw, followed by a discards for extra card from NBB.

Franklin COC, Namor and She-Thing ram into Hulk, whose Framistat proves to be short-lived indeed. The ATK is sufficient to drop the behemoth, though Franklin COC gets whapped upside the head in return.

Sue then sends SS and She-Hulk into the good doctor, Strange stunning Sue in response, and leaving Reed with no unstunned character left for a return strike.

Sue: 15; Reed: -4 - Game.

Truth be told, once Sue was able to hide She-Thing this match was almost a foregone conclusion. The Pier Pressure deck lives by low character count but enormous stats thanks to equipment, and Sharon Ventura is pretty much the bane of their existence.

That’s two wins to the blonde, one to the rock, the elastic band and the fireball yet to get their names on the board. Who said women were the weaker sex?